I walked into SCAD absolutely defeated. It was the nearing the end of the quarter and I was exhausted. I didn't particularly care about the papers I was writing or the presentations I was about to give. I had half a mind to turn around and go bury myself in my covers and watch Food Network, ignoring the hours of homework ahead of me and basking blissfully in the laziness that a rainy afternoon affords. I was tired, worried and feeling completely overwhelmed. I was getting closer and closer to D-DAY; when full time classes ended and it was time for me to find a full time job again. After not working for a year, I was ready to start again but I wasn't sure of what I wanted to do and although I loved my program, the opportunities presenting themselves were few and far between and most were unpaid. For lack of a better term, I felt defeated.
I bucked up and decided that I needed to just suck it up and go to class. No use wallowing in my own stormy ocean. I walked through the school to the elevator bank. For a time drawing close to finals, the school was surprisingly empty. I suppose other people had made the choice to stay home. The doors opened and I got in, jostling my books and my materials. The elevator doors shut and I was left to sit by my lonesome. The air was still and quiet and I was thankful for a moment of peace.
I closed my eyes and begin to silently pray. "Please God, reveal to me what it is you want me to do and where my place is. Show me where I'm supposed to grow." It was a prayer of desperation and I could feel my entire heart pouring into it. I just need some answers because I felt like I was treading water in a riptide. I didn't need a life preserver; I needed the Coast Guard. We were surviving on one salary with a student loan looming over us and no job prospects to really speak of. My husband was working his tail off and he was tired and I could see it in his eyes even though his natural optimistic demeanor would never say it out loud. I could see him calculating the numbers in his head and the worry would sneak through.
I whispered the prayer over and over and then opened my eyes. All of a sudden I noticed a small flashing light out of the corner of my eye that hadn't been there when I got in. I looked down and at the very very bottom of the numbers on the control panel of the elevator was a small round button. It was the source of the flashing and I had never noticed this button before. I looked closer to read what it said.
Help Is on the Way.
It only flashed about six times but the message was abundantly clear. My prayers had been heard and my help was on the way. I just needed to have faith; Faith in myself and faith in the One that loves me. I instantly felt a wave of relief wash over me and I took a deep breath.
I stepped out of the elevator a different person that day. When life begins to get overwhelming and complicated, when the storms begin to thunderously roll in, when my little boat seems to be capsizing; Help Is On The Way.
It might as well have been a giant neon sign, but that little button changed my life.
1 comments:
This story always finds its way into my day on the days I really,really need to hear this...amazing how God works!
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